Not all that we are: On the crazy fangirl trope and how it harms girls.

A few weeks ago, I sent out a tweet asking for peoples experiences where people had been made to feel less than because they were a fangirl.


I decided to delve into this topic because I’ve recently realised that I am respected as an equal person in most situations except in fandom. In the majority of cases, if I bump into an actor that knows me from fandom in a neutral zone I feel like I am starting from below them and I have to make a massive effort to act intelligent and normal. This isn’t the case with everyone but I always get that shock if they recognise me as a human being whose life exists beyond fandom. I don’t think that any of these people mean to make me feel that way and that it is a structural thing. Something about the expectation of me as a blushing, out of control fan makes me lose my confidence as a normal person and it is hard to break that expectation down.


I wanted to get a scope of how others felt they were treated, so here are some quotes from people from different fandoms, alongside some referenced commentary and opinion from me. (I’ve decided to take names out completely, as well as specific contexts if it isn’t relevant as enough people wanted to keep it anonymous!).

The general landscape of fandom


For the purpose of this essay, I am going to use these definitions:


fangirl noun a female fan, especially one who is obsessive about comics, film, music, or science fiction. (dictionary.com)


fandom noun the fans of a particular person, team, fictional series, etc. regarded collectively as a community or subculture. (dictionary.com)


I’m referring to grown-up fangirls, where most people would agree they are not doing anything wrong. I think this applies to the majority of fangirls, but I wanted to make very clear that I’m not talking about people to hire taxis to follow people, or anything else which is actual stalking.

In general, I’d like to argue that our treatment of fangirls mirrors societies treatment of girls and young women as stupid, complicated people who are obsessed with men because we want them sexually or romantically. As fangirls we experience sexism, belittling and confusion from onlookers pretty much every time we bring up our latest obsession.


“I’ve been mocked and belittled by family members including my parents for my love of bands. They told me I was wasting time and money for people who’d never know I even exist, that I was wasting energy and getting too involved in them.”

On the need for the barrier


There is often a physical and metaphorical barrier between fans and “talent” (I hate the use of the word talent but its a useful umbrella term). I believe that this barrier needs to be there because it keeps everyone safe.


“I'm a big believer in the "fourth wall" between fans and celebrities; we create stuff for each other, and our culture develops alongside celebrities. But we still shouldn't push it on them unless we are 100% certain it will be ok.”


I want to make it clear that we understand that the “talent” are not our friends (not that the possibility for us to be isn’t there) and that we should be behave appropriately at all times. In my head, my relationship with these people is mutually beneficial: (talking about actors) they bring to life characters that I love, I pay them to do so and proceed to support them in the future. And all that should be done with respect and an attitude of safety first.


“I’ve been to a lot of premieres and the ‘celebrities’ are usually cool - the people surrounding them, however, are the issue. I suppose their team have to expect the worst in fans as precaution. I’ve always felt like there’s a difference between protecting the talent and being mocking which happens a lot!“


I think that we need to express ourselves more on both sides, but the issue isn't really the communication between actors and fans and is more public perception of fangirls. This perception is massively encouraged by parents, friends and management who agree with the crazy fangirl trope.


“My issue with big events like premieres is that they use the fans, but they don’t want the fans to have a good time. Publicists only want the noise fans make for cameras, once that’s done and they get one photo op of an actor signing someone they want to whisk them away, even if the actor wants to stay and spend time with fans.”

On the “crazy fangirl” trope


“When I told my family that I'll see [a play] again when I'm [on holiday] my dad asked me "why would you see a play that you already saw one time?" And wasn't really open to hear an answer, and my brother just started joking about how I need a psychiatrist. Nothing too hostile, but annoying.”


Every single one of us has been called a crazy fangirl at some point. In my research, I have come across the term “Celebrity Worship Syndrome (CWS)”, where researchers have attempted to rationalise what is essentially fangirling. Research suggests that interest in celebrity culture is not uncommon and generally people with this interest do not exhibit CWS (1). I’d like to argue that the word “worship” is misleading and unfair to most of us. However, I do think it is important to distinguish between fangirling and psychosis.


It is natural to feel like you know somebody that you are obsessed with, but this should come with the self-awareness that you don’t actually know them, and in the majority of cases we are aware of this and fine with it. Somebody who feels a deep, real connection with somebody they don't know and acts upon this by stalking or other inappropriate behaviours is experiencing some kind of pathology, which should be taken seriously and not dealt with by name calling.


According to the researchers who defined CWS, celebrity worship can be divided into three categories (2):


“1. The entertainment-social dimension relates to attitudes where individuals are attracted to a celebrity because of their perceived ability to entertain and to become a social focus of conversation with likeminded others.


2. The intense-personal dimension relates to individuals that have intensive and compulsive feelings about a celebrity.


3. The borderline-pathological dimension relates to individuals who display uncontrollable behaviors and fantasies relating to a celebrity.”


We should all be aware of overgeneralising groups of people into the worse case scenario. Fangirls exist on a scale of casual to intense but most of us aren’t pathological, and the use of that language is harmful to everyone, including those who may exhibit pathological CWS as it suggests that it isn’t a legitimate, unusual problem.


“I’m known as the girl with weird music taste and obsessions. My stepdad ALWAYS goes “i bet no one else knows them, they should pay you to go” when I go to gig. My bosses call me weird all the time bc i’m a fangirl.”


When somebody calls me crazy, it is mostly annoying because I instantly know that this person has no interest in understanding why I love what I do. It instantly belittles my interest and is the reason why activities associated with fandom are seen as having less value as other activities.


If incidents of fangirls being really inappropriate actually took place on a regular basis, we would hear about them because there’s nothing the media enjoys more than as excuse to demonise young women. But we don’t hear about it because it pretty much doesn’t happen.

On sexism and the double standard of being a girl


“There's definitely a difference between how fans of different things are treated. People accept someone buying a really expensive season ticket for football much more than they do if people want to spend all their money in other ways. Football is very much a fandom, but its historically been more acceptable socially than people who go to conventions for instance.”


Why do people seem to have different expectations of people in different fandoms?


“Twilight is a teenage girl thing so everyone shits on it. Same for the actresses made in Disney, they are so discredited it's a bit ridiculous.”

Put simply, fandoms which are traditionally female tend to be more discredited than traditionally male fandoms.


A good example of this is the way female sports pundits are discredited or the way women are treated in traditionally male fandoms like gaming (3,4).


“I like video games, I have since I was a kid so I think I have as much experience as guys that like video games. It was only cool to like certain games that are traditionally seen as male. Traditionally male games were automatically assumed to be harder, and better, so more worthy of their time than other games.”


“I play MMORPGs (massively multiplayer online role playing games) and I found if it's clear that you're female you get people trying to kick you out more frequently than if you're equally shit but playing as a male presenting character. Actually, [my boyfriend] has got two characters in the MMO we play, and he's a commander on both characters - which basically means he's highlighted as a leader. One character is female and the other is male. He usually only uses the male as a commander because fewer players follow his orders when they think he is female.”


Within gaming, the sexism is blatant. I think that part of this stems from the fact that girls who play video games are not required to dress up, look pretty or act “like a girl” in any way. A girl could easily hide behind her gender, but why should she do so to be taken seriously? Another illustration of sexism in gaming is the sexualisation of female characters within the game. There is absolutely no reason for female characters to have their boobs out (or have massive, disproportional boobs) except for the fact that the character is designed for the male gaze. This not only isolates women who may feel uncomfortable about this, but encourages sexist expectations of women.


This sexism extends to more female-dominated fandoms, such as movies.


“I actually only post selfies on Facebook if it's someone from a TV Show/Film I know that men like. I'd never dream of posting stage door selfies with theatre actors there!”


Even in spaces filled with women, we are still controlled in our expression in our love for these things. Just as as men should be able to post a picture of themselves at a football game every weekend for a year, women should be able to post selfies with a Disney star. These should elicit the same response of being happy that they are happy, not quite understanding why but minding our own business.

On fandom in the workplace

Not only does this sexism in fandom hurt women personally, it hurts our careers.


“I mean you can argue this about fanfiction not being considered serious. Why isn't it serious writing? Because teenage girls write it. I spent fifteen years of my life devoting myself to a creative hobby I can't mention on a CV.”


Fandom is not seen as a productive creative hobby, yet the skills that we develop being in fandom are so transferable to many areas of work. Women are already starting from below men, but they have to leave important skills out of applications. If a woman mentions running a fan account, for example, an employer would assume they are time-wasting and crazy (one example of discouragement can be seen here (5)).


“I think people shame something if its a fandom that is mostly fangirls cause therefore if men don't like it so it's not serious.”


It is important to point out that this isn’t just a fandom vs. non fandom problem. We do it to each other. I know I am guilty of judging people in other (more teenage girl orientated) fandoms in the past and I constantly have to watch myself.

On the sexualisation of fangirls


So why are we treated this way as women? Several people brought up the idea that fangirls are seen to only be interested in an actor because they fancy them.


“Actors/male celebrities see guy fans as a cool dude they can hang out with, they see fangirls as someone they can sleep with or irrelevant smitten girls.”


“I don't like the assumption that if we are a fan of young males, we must fancy them.”


Unless we explicitly say so, it isn’t right to assume that a fangirl fancies anyone. And even if they do, we’re all consensual adults and we are not going to jump them. It isn’t any different from us fancying a guy in a bar and behaving in the same way we would then. To be honest, we’re less likely to come onto someone we’re a fan of because the confidence that is required to see ourselves as equal.


In a world where girls are explicitly shamed when they are sexual, it is ridiculous that it is assumed that we are after sex. On several occasions I have said that fandom is a space for girls to safely express their sexuality, but this is usually about characters, or being allowed to write smutty fanfiction, or having online conversations people they know just enough, but not too much, to talk about masturbation for the first time ever. And this is amazing.


I think it is quite arrogant of anyone to assume that a girl fancies someone because they are a fan of their work. There’s nothing more upsetting than someone thinking that I like a character just because it is played by a good looking man. Maybe this is true, maybe it isn’t, but neither should be assumed and neither is more valid than the other. Also, heteronormativity is harmful.


It is also frustrating and dangerous that some male celebrities are taught to think that fangirls are easy because they aren’t getting any elsewhere (which is not true at all). The worst consequence of this is when a man takes advantage of a fan and sleeps with them, which is quite common and is often rape because that’s not an equal balance of power and in many cases that girl cannot give informed consent. Equally, if a girl wants to sleep with someone and is mature enough to give consent clearly and logically, they should not be shamed by the fandom for doing so.

Basically, as women particularly, we need to be aware of when we are allowing society to sexualise us or shame us for being sexual. Both are nonsense yet we are constantly doing it to ourselves because of the way society frames fangirls and we have to lead to try to change something.

On inter-fandom shaming and self-awareness

I think the worst part of the crazy fangirl trope is that it is so ingrained that we begin doing it to each other.


“And the number of times [my friend] has been me feel awful for being obsessed with [a franchise] when she is actually worse than me when it comes to [a] show.”


I’m sure it’s obvious how ridiculous this is, yet we are all guilty of it. We need to work on this because we’re encouraging the crazy trope and going against each other. I think we all agree that we should ultimately behave with respect and I firmly believe that most of us do. Often, we can be overexcited, loud and obnoxious but we should not label each other psychotic and crazy.


“No fangirl is gonna be like "I know I'm being a dick but I don't care”. You’re always like "I'm not THAT bad”. That's why every time we get shit in [my current] fandom I force myself to take a massive step back to assess the situation.”


If anyone understands, it is going to be people from other fandoms, so lets prop each other up.

What can you do if you’re the “talent”?


I hope that I’ve made it very clear that I don’t think celebrities are required to be “good” with fans. Actors do not ever have to come to stage door or sign at premieres as that is not part of their job. However, I would like to ask you to be aware that you are in a position of power and to try to treat fangirls as equal people.


I asked people what they would say to the objects of their fangirling that may help break down the barrier of communication, and here’s a few replies I got:


“If I really was the 'obsessed' fan that people paint us to be, then I would have dropped my degree and moved to London and would have been at the show or stage door everyday. But none of us do that, because we see the show for our own enjoyment, not just for the actors.”


“I’m a fan as it is one thing that brings me happiness. But I could very easily survive and thrive if I didn’t happen to have that one thing, it’s not all I am.”


“I want to tell them that I understand when they get creeped out by the fans who ARE like that. It can be hard for celebrities to distinguish because they don’t know us and there can be hundreds and thousands of people who track celebrities so how can they know which is which? We know we are well rounded, respectful fans. But they don’t.”


“Sometimes I worry that actors almost pity us being there all the time like that’s all we have.”

Nothing means more to me than when I’m chatting to someone about their performance and they ask me how my week has been or what I do for a living. That tiny gesture that shows that you know I’m a person raises my self-belief as an equal so much. It’s ok for one actor to want to have a relationship with us and another to not care at all, but if you humour us for half a second, you could make our week.


When I’ve said that I have a pretty good job in the past, I’ve had actors do a proper double-take. I don’t think that I come across as any less intelligent in fandom situations as I do generally so I really think that comes down to assumptions of fangirls.


If you care about the fans, which I know so many of you do, all we want is to be seen as an individual person with a life because it can be quite a dehumanising experience. In situations where you can’t actually have a conversation (eg. premieres or signings) simply asking our names or giving individual eye contact would mean the world. If you want to be really lovely, call your publicist out if they’re being an arsehole, but that split second of eye contact would be more than enough. If you have time to have a conversation, then lets have a two-way conversation, nothing shows that you care more and it means everything.

So, what can you do if you’re not involved fandom?


“Everyone in the world has a passion. It's other people who decide for you whether your passion is a passion or an obsession, purely based on their own prejudices.”


Being a fangirl just means loving something intensely. Simply because we tend to be young women, we should not be invalidated or subjected to name calling.


“As much as other people can't understand my being obsessed with things, I genuinely can't understand the reverse? I don't remember there ever being a time in my life I wasn't obsessed with something.”


Ultimately, you should be hiring fangirls as your talent representatives, your presenters, your social media managers and your MI5 agents. Fangirls have obsessive, meticulous attention to detail, are excellent at research and have brilliant communication and writing skills. But we can’t put any of this on our CV’s because society has taught us that fandom is a strange, scary place full of psychotic teenage girls with no self control. But believe me when I say that you don’t know what self control is until the object of your obsession is standing in front of you for the first time and you have to say something to sum up what they mean to you in 10 seconds without totally freaking them out.


I hope I’ve convinced you that we are not crazy and that being really into something doesn’t mean we are psychotic. We aren’t stalkers and in most cases we just truly love and respect a person/thing.

Mostly, our identities as fangirls should not be all that we are, but we shouldn’t have to hide that part of ourselves to be taken seriously.


Thank you so much to everyone who helped me write this! Your experiences and conversations have been so interesting, and I hope I’ve done you justice.

Bibliography:


A note on research bias: There is a serious lack of research that looks at fangirls, particularly compared to that of sports fans, which we are often lumped in with. This is something I see a lot when researching data: we don’t value research on women, particularly young women, so it isn’t well funded. Considering how interesting fangirls could be as psychological subjects, this is a perfect example of how we discount girls. More information on this is available in (6).


1. Maltby, J. Houran, J. Mccutcheon, L. (2003). A clinical interpretation of attitudes and behaviors associated with celebrity worship. The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease.. 191 (1), 25-29.


2. McCutcheon,L. Lange, R. Houran, J. (2002). Conceptualization and measurement of celebrity worship. The British Psychological Society. 93 (1), 67-87.


3. Mudrick, M. (2015). Pervasively Offside: A Gendered Analysis of Sportscasting. Doctoral Dissertations.. 772 (1), 1-96.


4. McCudden, M. (2011). Degrees of fandom: authenticity & hierarchy in the age of media convergence. Doctoral Dissertations.. 647 (1), 1-162.


5. Green, A. (2016). Putting fanfiction on a resume, telling an ex-friend’s employer what she’s really like, and more. Available: https://www.askamanager.org/2016/02/putting-fanfiction-on-a-resume-telling-an-ex-friends-employer-what-shes-really-like-and-more.html. Last accessed 13th Aug 2018.


6. Turner, G. (2010). Approaching celebrity studies. Celebrity Studies . 1 (1), 11-20.